Bad Weather Words

Weatherthings.com

"Bad Weather Words" We've all used them...

Other professions have jargon… deplane, contusion, laceration, combustion, disembark, alleged perpetrator, but weather has its share. A good weather presenter wants to avoid bad weather words and...

MISUSE...
Lack of understanding of concept
Speaking the way others speak without thinking

JARGON...
Forgetting audience level of understanding
Trying to impress audience or your boss

VAGUENESS...
as solid as a Cirrus cloud
as clear as OVC F BS VIS1/10
as straight as an Omega Block
as understandable as the Equations of Motion

VERBOSITY...
Inability or unwillingness to express a thought with a minimum number of words in a succinct sentence or sentences due to a lifelong pattern of attempting to extend, modify, or otherwise increase the amount of data that flows from your brain through your mouth in efforts to avoid using punctuation that signals the end of a thought while simultaneously reducing the amount of data stored on one’s brain which is an inability or unwillingness to express a thought with a minimum number of words...

CLICHÉ...
It’s beginning to look a lot like... everybody talks about the weather, so please don’t steal my thunder, while raindrops keep falling on my head, during the lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer, otherwise Jack Frost & Old Man Winter won’t show me the money.

MISUSE	RESPONSE
cold air pushing in	what is it pushing?
trough lifts	lifting what?
risk of showers	a risk implies danger
moving se to ne	that would be moving north
temperature drop	temperatures fall
better chance of	is there such a thing as worse chance?
fog lifting	what is the fog lifting?
the weather is supposed to be	according to whom?
the normal high is supposed to be	the normal high is...
twice as cold	twice as cold as what?
live video	it's one or the other
hot temperatures	that's simply hot air

JARGON	RESPONSE
arrived on schedule	who scheduled it?
few and far between	between what?
the brunt of the storm	what is a brunt?
gathering steam	sounds like a fogged mirror
raining to beat the band	who made this up?
century mark	that would be in Century, Florida
acre	who really knows how big this is?
kilometer	not in the U.S.
gradient	you surely must mean slope
normal	are you normal?
precipitation	well, what kind is it?
cell	only prisoners get this one
bomb	nobody wants to hear that
rain on your parade	now, that's clever
backside	you sit on that
entrainment	they serve mints in trains?
deep moisture	swimming pool
nautical miles	mariners delight
statute miles	is that under a state law?
in the next 36 to 48 hours	who talks like that?
embedded thunderstorms	sounds like a battle
high builds in	building into what?
tornadic thunderstorm	...from Tornadoville?
departure from normal	the bus departs Normal at 12:15
clouds are organizing	unions work for the common man
radar returns	please have your receipt ready
radar echoes	can you hear that... can you hear that
satellite imagery	imagery or image
a better chance for storms	what's better about a storm?
water vapor loop	play Misty again
visible satellite	at night it's invisible
excessive rainfall	that's a lot
in effect	I once new a guy who lived in effect
at the surface	where else?
moisture field	swamp
moisture tongue	that's almost x-rated
severe shower	huh?
high profile vehicle	Lamborghini
inches of mercury	or millimeters
high and dry	kick the habit
high pressure doming down	how can you dome down?
return flow	call a plumber
exercise caution	take caution to the gym
streamline	everyone line up at the stream
piece of energy	what's that?
diurnal	use this daily
stall out	stall out, stall in, stall on, stall

VAGUENESS	RESPONSE
weather is expected	by whom?

CLICHÉ	RESPONSE
wet, wacky, and wild	clouds gone wild
thunderstorm activity	sounds like a party
the barometer is falling	catch it
temperature department	isn't that near men's apparel?
rain event	is it free to the public?
if you liked today	what if you didn't?
if you don't like the weather just wait	and then you'll hate it
what a difference a day makes	name that tune
garden variety	what do you grow in your garden?
packing a punch	make sure it doesn't leak out
locally heavy	try Slimfast
chunk of real estate	is this phrase your property?
for the most part	51%
picture perfect	don't blur the lines
fly in the ointment	scary
trail of terror	opening Friday at a theater near you
death and destruction	Armageddon
snapped like toothpicks	who actually snaps toothpicks?
residents are picking up the pieces	let there be pieces on Earth
tossed like toys	someone needs a spanking
sounded like a freight train	yes, I do live by the train tracks
the old one-two punch	why not the old rope-a-dope?
getting hammered	friends don't let friends drive drunk
impressive storms	they've worked hard on presentation
hit or miss	is there any other option?
under the gun	that's better than being in front
adding fuel to the fire	must be a hot topic
neck of the woods	where's the head?

REDUNDANCY	RESPONSE
a new record set	all new records are set
barometric pressure	that's like thermometric temperature
a short period of time	delete "period of"
frontal boundary	what's the definition of a front?
in the next five days ahead	next = ahead
tornado on the ground	where else would it be?
dangerous lightning	as compared to safe lightning?
the weather outside	all weather is outside
close proximity	look up proximity
safe haven	look up haven
moving on off	delete on or off to get the same thing

FILLER
neither her nor there	sounds like neverland
six and one half dozen of the other	that doesn't add up
if we could just bottle it up	who would ship it?
just doesn't get any better	so it's as good as it gets?
as good as it gets, folks	so it just doesn't get any better?
yet and still	sounds like a folk band
part and parcel	take that and ship it
as I said	who said that?
before all is said and done	In the beginning...
by far and large	it's a long way from here
as you can see	is everybody watching? Can everyone see?
there's not much going on	then stop talking!

Keep your forecasts down to Earth. Stay out of the ego-sphere. There's no law that says don't use these words, just think about what you are really saying or how people might misinterpret it.

If you want another laugh, check out Just Another Weathercast.

This list is intended for fun and for the betterment of weather presentations. It may not be re-posted or redistributed without consent of copyright holder, but you may freely create an Internet link to it. Copyright 2007, Alan Sealls

The author is Chief Meteorologist at WKRG-TV in Mobile, Alabama. He's an award-winning weather broadcaster with CBM and NWA Seals. Alan holds a BS from Cornell and a MS from FSU, both in meteorology. He's worked at WALB-TV in ABY, WTMJ-TV/AM in MKE, WGN-TV and WMAQ-TV in CHI, and CNN in ATL.